


Have I Done Any Good

by RonnaWren (Wolf_of_Lilacs)



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Disjointed, Mormon Themes, Non-Linear Narrative, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 19:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_of_Lilacs/pseuds/RonnaWren
Summary: You are the price you must pay, and you pay it well.Alternatively: Ronna is.





	Have I Done Any Good

**Author's Note:**

> Anything in italics isn't mine.

"Nice office," she says.

"Yeah, I've liked it," Reince replies, laughing awkwardly. "The fish tank was there." He nods to a corner. "That's been moved out, so you can put in whatever you want."

"Ah, thank you." Pictures of Pat and the kids and her large extended family will take up most of the wall space. Maybe a picture of a temple. Or, who knows, she might just leave it bare.

"Yeah." He smiles at her, a smile that does him no favors. "We're all really proud of you, you know. This is such an honor, you being the first woman in decades and everything."

"Yes," she agrees.

"Good luck." Reince leaves, looking around the office in rueful contentment. (He'll want to come back, try to do her job because he hates his new one.)

The price of advancement is steep:

Carve out a piece of yourself, fit it in a picture frame on the wall of RNC chairs. It is good.

Reince didn't listen to her for months, until it was October and he was grasping for anything that would help him sleep at night, curled up with guilt. Oh, but he came crawling to her, stinking of desperation and cheap wine. He believed her only when not believing would have caused an ulcer. But, well, she’s here now.

Pat is stressed out. The kids cry. They all miss you. You fill out grocery orders on Instacart, know better than they do what's in the fridge. It is good.

There are candidates she hates. She has the power now to toss them aside. She withdraws the Committee's support.

"No, Ronna. We like him now. It doesn't matter what people claim he's done." You do what you are told. Is it good?

Mom understands better than most. But she never got this far, never quite gave herself up.

"Oh, we don't really like Romneys, do we?" Trump jokes. Because of course it's a joke. She laughs. Pat laughs. Oh, yes, Mr. President. Romneys, ha ha.

You carve out another piece of yourself. Discard it in a garbage heap of nostalgia. It is good (it must be good).

"We miss you, Mom." Every night, after they tell her about their school day and church activities. She can't be there for them (she is there for them).

"Things are looking fantastic, Ronna. Anything I can do to help." There isn't. Reince has just been fired. (He resigned? Oh, of course he did.) She can ignore him.

Future senator Mitt Romney. She can tepidly support him. (He's moved right again. Where will he stop? What is true?)

You swallow everything down till your chest aches fit to burst and give yourself to all and sundry ( _give oh give, said the little stream_ ). The arc of history bends at your behest. (You are bent out of shape, out of mind.) It is good (great, America is great, keep America great).

Ronna Romney McDaniel is dead. You killed her. Was there ever Ronna Romney? It is good, the best.

The monstrous Senate candidate loses. Her support didn't matter. He was bad. (Trump is bad, a flawed instrument but does God's will.)

You are relieved. You shouldn't be. It is… okay.

She makes no comment about Rob Porter. He is what he was expected to be. (Guilt, discomfort, complicity… no!)

You are nothing but a woman-shaped shadow, nothing left to give. (You receive plenty, more than Reince did). _You have done well, thou good and faithful servant._

 _By their works ye shall know them._ (She knows herself well.) It is enough (never, ever enough).


End file.
